Meet Our Contributors: Nicole's Story
We are extremely proud to introduce you to Nicole. We are thrilled to have her essay about her personal experience with infertility and surrogacy in our book. Thank you so much, Nicole!
1) Why did you decide to share your story in Through, Not Around and with the 16 Percent community?
I decided to share my story with The 16 Percent community, because, when the opportunity presented itself, I was at a place in my life, where I felt ready to move forward. I had grown tired of the grief and sadness that weighed on my shoulders. I was ready to shed the humility for happy.
It was time to share my story, in hopes that it could help one person struggling with their own loss(es) and to encourage others to pursue other avenues of fertility treatment. i.e. surrogacy. Additionally, we, the so called 'infertile' often have difficulty finding "our person" to help us through the emotional rollercoaster of treatment, loss and so much more. So, I have made an effort to try and reach out to those around me who are experiencing difficulty in achieving pregnancy. Being given the opportunity to share my story allows me to reach a little more within the community to support those who are/or have experienced infertility and/or pregnancy loss.
2) Has writing about your experience helped you heal in any way? What have you learned through this experience so far?
Writing my story was therapeutic, it helped me let go of that part of my life. During the writing process, I came across a quote from an unknown author, 'When you can tell your story, and it doesn't make you cry, you know you have healed." This hit home, because with all the dark days I was digging up, I didn't feel the need to cry. I made others cry by sharing my story. This was how I knew, I had healed from my losses.
I have learned that I am stronger than I have ever given myself credit for. I have learned that my husband and I were meant to grow stronger as a result of our infertility.
During those years of struggle, I so often questioned myself, 'why us?' Today, I know that it was a test of faith, a test of our resiliency and an opportunity to be each other's shoulder to lean on. Most importantly, we have learned to love our life again, be better to others, and to enjoy every moment with our son. There are many moments that we catch ourselves looking at our son, and reminding ourselves that how happy, blessed and lucky we are.
3) What is your favourite
I have many favorite quotes; all relate to different aspects of my life. I think in regards to the subject matter it would be: "It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it's even harder to give up when you know it's everything you want." Author Unknown